also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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