i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
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Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
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Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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