Porn is love you can see.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
