so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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