So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
i believe in u and ur pee
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
