i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
