mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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