check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
