people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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