Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
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