Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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