Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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