Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.