There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.