just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.