If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
