I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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