Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
