My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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