I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
