We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
