I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
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Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
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I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
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