And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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