she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize