I molested 6 butterflies tonight
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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