I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
