Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
