His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize