There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
