The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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