i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I need to align my fucking chakras
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
