Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
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Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
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Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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