omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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