I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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