areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
