break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
