i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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