i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize