hell yes lets make some ravioli
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
he was CRYING into my vagina
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
