She is in my trunk
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
so much tequila, so little girl.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
