you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
