Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize
