Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize