Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
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