So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
