Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
