He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
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It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
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My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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