Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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