just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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