I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
