I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
It's never too late to be topless.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
