my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
i think my cat just said my name.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
that may or may not have been my penis.
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