Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
