I smell stomach acid.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Randomize
