i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
You ate ashes out of my bong
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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