id be glad to
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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