we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize