So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
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i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
we should paint friendship bongs
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