You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Randomize
